Viola Vibrations

The U.K. is apparently suffering a shortage of viola players. But all is not lost - according to the BBC, viola fans are fighting back, "starting with a special concert in Edinburgh this weekend featuring new viola music to raise the profile of the cause." The article also lists some of the better-known viola "jokes":

What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?
The coffin has the dead person on the inside.

What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
The viola holds more beer.
You can tune the violin.

What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

What's the difference between a viola and an onion?
No one cries when you cut up a viola.

What's the definition of "perfect pitch?"
Throwing a viola into a bin without hitting the rim.

Why do violists stand for long periods outside people's houses?
They can't find the key and they don't know when to come in.

Read more here.